I'm in a Funk..

I'm in a Funk, and I can't seem to get out of it. 

 I woke up Monday morning, just really blue. If you know me by now, you know

I am not a depressed bluey sad person.  But for some reason I woke up this way, I don't know if it my 

body or my brain or my mind, but I can't seem to get out of it. Believe me

I don't want to be. I can't seem to jog my way, or pray my way or listen to

the scriptures my way or even serve my way out of it. 

Tuesday I called a lady in my ward (from our church congregation) to go out to

lunch on Thursday. I thought it would be a nice gesture, to get to know her better. She is

still fairly new and doesn't have a lot of friends. So yesterday, I got up

took care of some chores and still I was just down. I even had to talk to myself, 

telling myself, you're doing something for someone- snap out of it will ya! 

We had a nice afternoon I took her to the Deseret Book Store, she loved it. I picked up some

books that I'm going to be giving to some new sisters at church, we had a nice lunch.

But even after all that, when I got home, the blue's just came back. 

As I am typing this, I feel it so heavily.  What to do, what to do?

So I told my youngest daughter this last night, and she asked me is it because she

has moved out of the house and my husband and I are now emptynesters? 

I told her, I am denying that, because I can't believe that  something like that

would manifest itself  physically. I don't know, do you think subconsciously that could be? 

I mean, come 'on she just moved 5 minutes away. Personally I think

there's something physical happening. Because in my mind, I am not one 

that suffers from depression. But can my physical body?  I know such a heavy subject 

for today.  Less than 2 weeks ago I  met with my Doctor and he was asking me how I was doing and I told him fine, I'm happy everything is going well. Then  Bam!! less than  

three days later I wake up like this.  It's like the saying: I've fallen and I can't get up. 

I know, are you thinking, "You just need a good cry"! Yeah I thought of that too. 

But nothing has brought be to tears yet.  I don't have the time at this moment. 

The thing is, It's going to happen, soon or later, the "breaking point" is going to happen

when I least expect it and  then crash....  

I think it's time to face the fact that I have to go back to my Doctor - it's gotta be

some half way century mark of imbalanced hormones or something.

My co-worker said maybe I should see a therapist. I asked her for what? 

I don't have any issues. All they are going to do is ask me about my childhood 

and seriously I don't have any baggage that I'm holding on to. Really

if you know me, and I think you do,  I don't hold on to grudges. 

My year book states that I  was known as "The Most Perky Girl". I am

positive, I am happy, I am the cockeyed Optimist. 

I am Fun.  Yes get real, I am known for Fun...
** So it is a week later, and I am still feeling this way, as soon as I get a minute
I'm going to call my Doctor, I promise. But I am feeling physically weird.

"georgie"